Readers,
So basically i'm just gonna get straight down to business - no time like the present after all, right?
*deep breath*
The idea for this latest entry came about through quite a heated, nevertheless friendly (don't worry guys, there was no black eyes or broken bones!), debate with a friend of mine, and as I sit here on this Monday afternoon doing everything to avoid actually doing anything remotely uni related, now seemed like the perfect time for this post - a good old kickstart to the week!
So anyway as I was saying, that heated debate my friend and I had a week or so back was basically, in a nutshell, all about stereotypes, assumptions and the associations we make throughout our daily lives. When I actually take the time to sit down and evaluate what was said, it's so true - in this world today, everything has a label. We label everything from fat to thin, black to white, rich to poor, ugly to beautiful, gay to straight, weird to normal and needless to say, that's just the start. I've come to realise that nothing can just 'be' what it is - my friend Calum and I used the example of Primark and the (lets be honest here), typically negative associations that come with such stores - be it the snobby impressions, the 'shitty' quality of the clothes or the specific 'people who shop in those kind of stores'. I think the controversial point underneath all of this information is honesty and ultimately, the way in which one voices their opinion with regards to a particular setting, situation or in the case of Primark, clothing store.
By raising this topic i'm by no means saying i'm immune to doing any of this 'labelling' myself - in fact, as a person who values honesty, i'll hold my hands up and admit that i'm actually incredibly bad for doing it - i'm that controversial person who says that Primark is nothing but rubbish and that the only people it attracts are pregnant sixteen year-olds who already have three children to their name...
Now i'm well aware that what i've said above is incredibly snobby, stereotypical and for the most part, probably not true - but what's my point? It's a simple one really. WHY do we label things in such a way? WHY do we associate particular people or whatever it may be with a specific something? I mean let's just get this out there, picture this with me - you wouldn't exactly see a London millionaire shopping in a Primark store would you? Okay, maybe there is the odd one (lol), but typically speaking you wouldn't - now if you ask me, this isn't actually because the store is necessarily THAT bad, but more because of a discourse that has been created within our society - stemming across language, the associations we make, our dress sense, the way we 'come across' and well, yeah, almost every other aspect of our lives. The problem of labelling ladies and gentlemen, is a man made one. We have created this problem ourselves, and it's unfortunately not just obvious within the world of Primark.
It has been said that "our lives improve only when we take chances and that the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves and those around us.” - However, for me, the extent to which this 'honesty' is beneficial can be seriously questioned. Is honesty, despite being an important attribute to uphold and maintain, always advantageous? When looking rationally at honesty, i've come to realise that it actually has an abundance of attached negativity. Now I know what many of you will be thinking, why or how can honesty possibly be bad? If any of you are like me you'll have been brought up to 'always tell the truth' and keep the idea of an honest state of mind within yourself in the hope that being honest in life, will result in good things coming your way. Now of course this is true and i'm by no means encouraging lying, but my point is more to try and highlight an incredibly overlooked problem - that problem guys and girls, is what i'm going to try and explain to you all, albeit from my own interpretations. Is the world ready for these interpretations? God knows!
It's no surprise that the society we inhibit today has a clear series of unwritten and sometimes unspoken laws, rules and standards that it expects us to abide by without question - I like to think of them as a perceived set of standards and assumptions which through time and natural evolvement, have come to be 'the norm' without us thinking any different, pretty much what I was saying above. My point? - well it is this aspect of life, these standards, these rules and these expectations of what is deemed acceptable, good, bad or ugly that ultimately shapes, albeit haphazardly, the development of our youth and future generations.
From colours to activities, interests to dislikes, music to clothing, relationships to careers, an infinite number of unspoken stereotypes are all too present among the sexes and social classes in our apparently 'cosmopolitan' world today.
Growing up in the UK, I began to notice that I wasn’t exactly like other boys my age. My interest in, for example, sports was pretty much non-existent. At school it appeared that athletics, rugby and football was deemed to be the unifying force amongst males and used to endlessly judge one’s 'manliness' in the classroom environment. Young, impressionable minds are often preconditioned to believe that any young boy who doesn’t like sports or the rough and tough exterior typically associated with them is one of two things - a 'sissy' or gay. Harsh? I'll say.
I can always remember finding immense levels of enjoyment, fulfilment and a sheer fascination combined with absolute satisfaction among the world of creativity - the theatre, music, reading stories - in fact, my love for the arts was so strong that I found myself taking acting, singing and dancing (yes, me dancing, what a thought right?) lessons throughout my early years of high school - when I was once surely destined (in my own mind) to be the next Phantom of the Opera! Nevertheless, regardless of my talents or abilities, societal stereotypes continued to plague me. Artists, musicians, actors, anyone within the world of creativity are typically seen, viewed and classified as sensitive, emotional, and passionate individuals - three adjectives that are apparently not associated with manliness.
My young, male counterparts just didn’t know what to make of me, it was not that I received a ton of abuse for being a bit of an outsider (thankfully), it seemed the guys' just viewed me as the one that differed from the normal masculine mentality. When I think back, I spent much of junior school and high school avoiding, as we called it 'physical education' class (I just called it my personal version of hell), wherever and however I could - safe to say I was 'feeling sick' a lot throughout my school career *cough cough* and the funny thing? I always 'felt sick' during gym class....how convenient!
For me, this is how it is, cards on the table - this ongoing struggle to fit within the confines of a very narrow-minded society leaves all too many individuals feeling incredibly insecure, anxious, and at times even depressed, at an age when really, they should be filled with innocence and joy with the ambition and determination at their back knowing they can be and aim for whatever they want in life.
I wish I could say that as i'm now older (and thankfully much wiser), my life is void of some of the same stereotypes I experienced throughout my youth, however, it appears that many of the men in my life that I know on a personal level continue to define themselves by macho-style behaviours, encompassing a lack of emotion, adoration for athletics, and unfortunately, a resistance to simply grow up and mature. And so the struggle for acceptance seems never-ending in a society dominated by the understanding that every man and every woman should abide by gender distinctions that apparently, we (the mass population) have 'created' for ourselves over time.
I recently came across a wonderful anonymous quote (I know, right? When am I not coming across a wonderful anonymous quote!) - "stereotypes are devices for saving a biased person the trouble of learning." In my opinion, the only reason for society’s evident stereotyping is to help those who are too cowardly to accept uniqueness, by providing them with an excuse to segregate, often bully and ultimately bring into the spotlight those who are different than to what they are, or to what they know to be normal. So many people, (myself included in this category) often spend years constantly trying to live up to gender, social class or whatever it may be stereotypes only to discover that in reality, this is not how populations should be defined.
I always say that i'm an honest person, or at least I try to be as much as possible throughout my life. I view honesty as an essential attribute and with this in mind, i'm therefore not ashamed in the slightest to whole heartedly admit that yes, I am a guy who’s not afraid to cry when emotions sometimes weigh me down and I view social contact such as hugs and affection as more expressions of love and appreciation, not of a link to sexual preference.
Shouldn't it be the mentality that everyone is unique in this world and those differences should be revered, not ignored? I mean lets face it, if we were all the same the world would be a damn right boring place, right? At the end of my life, I don’t want to be remembered as someone who tried endlessly to blend in with the crowd, does anyone? I mean really? I want to be remembered for being me, and so should each and everyone of YOU guys out there too.
So shop wherever you want, Prada or Primark, be the person you want to be and break the mould in life - but moral of the story? Let people be and put to bed those downright ignorant labels!
With that, i'll leave it there and i'll try to be less of a labelling person myself. It's safe to say i've had the ultimate realisation.
Until next time and as always, it's a pleasure.
Much love!
L xo
