oh, mother!

Hello all you readers' out there! 

I want to dedicate this post to a very special person in my life and seeing as today (despite me not actually being there) is Mother's Day in the UK, it seemed like the perfect time to do so. Now I know what some of you may be thinking..."oh but the date of Mother's day is different depending on what country you're from" bla bla bla but this, in my opinion, does not have any less of an effect on the purpose of this post this afternoon - it's not hard to appreciate the love and respect many people have for their mother who after all, is one of the most important people in our lives.

Mother's are important for countless reasons, they not only lay the foundations for us to build upon throughout our lives, but they prepare us to fly from the nest and explore the joy of what life truly has to offer.

It's often said that "when the mother starts to shatter, then everything just comes undone" and if you ask me, this is nothing less than true. Although many of us don't think of it like this (and it's something i'm only just beginning to realise), but every minute, of every hour, of every day, our mother's are worrying about us and are constantly trying to keep themselves 'together' to enable us to continue thinking of them as a force to be reckoned with in which nothing can prove too much for them to handle. Mum, you have always been there for me - be it with advice, a shoulder to cry on, someone to keep me company or just to listen to some of those insignificant rants and moans - which let's be honest, with me is more often than not!

We've done okay you and me (and dad, bless him being outnumbered by us! I think he deserves some sort of medal!) over the past twenty years haven't we? Yes, I'd say we've been bobbing along quite nicely. Of course, like anything else, we've had our ups and downs, our good days and bad days and those fall outs in which we spend the day not speaking in a huffy state of silence - granted they were mostly down to me - but all in all I think we're doing just fine and dandy. 

You are, without question, one of the funniest people I know. You're hilarious, you have such an incredible spirit, sense of humour and personality. Oh, and don't even get me started on that laugh of yours - so damn infectious! I can't wait to have you out here with me for the long weekend in April, if it's anything like normal, it will be laughter 24-7! I honestly can't wait. 

I don't think i've ever known a person to be as selfless as you, mum. You put others before yourself in a way I just didn't think was possible, you've been there to help me through some of the toughest decision making processes in my life as well as prove an absolute rock through stressful and uneasy times. 

I wouldn't be the person I am now if it wasn't for you, mum. You taught me to be kind and loving, you showed me how to be strong and take pride in myself. You told me to stand up for what I believe in and that I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am - if I love boys, girls, both or in-between and perhaps most importantly, you are still teaching me how to be the best person I can possibly be. You're a firm believer in not letting anyone take advantage of you, and are always on the hunt to make sure that no one does the same to your 'little boy', I love that about you. When I was younger (and much, much more stupid) I used to scream "I HATE YOU" when you weren't letting me act on my stupidity, I never meant any of that of course, but now I can't even imagine saying those words to you. It genuinely hurts to imagine myself saying such things. You're my best friend, mum. If I didn't have you in my life I'd seriously be missing half of myself - that's a pretty scary thought if you ask me. 

You've supported every choice I've ever made (well that's not entirely true - you didn't support my horrific emo/punk rocker/gothic-style phase back in the day did you?) even if you're scared. I love that you trust me to do the right thing if I know within myself that it's best for me, and that i'll always make a place in my heart for coming home, no matter how far apart oceans and time finds us. When I left for Stockholm it was far from easy saying goodbye to you at the airport, and I know that it wasn't easy for you either, but I just want to say thank you for trusting me to make the move and I hope you're now seeing all the benefits it seems to be bringing! 

Thank you mum for believing in me, every step I take towards 'growing up' you're there cheering me on as well as helping to keep me on the pathway to success through the good old fashioned 'work hard, play hard' mentality! Without your support I wouldn't be able to do half the things I've done. I hope you know that I'll always be there to support you as well. There honestly isn't a thing in this whole world that I don't think you could do twice as well as anyone else - why do you think I have a 'keep calm, mum knows best' poster in my room at home?! You're an absolute rockstar in my eyes, mum!  

If I had to take away one thing from your countless words of wisdom I think it would be this - you've always taught me that it's okay to make mistakes and that they're, as you would say 'par for the course'. Because of you i've realised that you have to go out and get what you want from life because no one's gonna give it to you. If things work in my favour and I achieve what I want, be gracious, stretch back a hand and help those who helped you get to where you want to be and when things don't work out for me, or things don't go to plan as I hoped, well, I guess you've taught me that I just need to fight harder next time! 

I love you mum no matter what we go through because at the end of the day, I know you'll ALWAYS be there. You'll always be there, and so will I. 

Mum, I love you so much. 

This is for you.

L xo

all you need is sex?

Good morning my spring chickens!

...

 I feel I can officially say such things now that spring definitely appears to have arrived, don't you just love it? The longer days, brighter mornings, warmer weather and more to the point, generally happier people! The start of spring truly does put a smile on everyone's face. Arghh, I just love it! 

For those of you who don't share the same levels of excitement and are wondering as to why i'm making such a big deal of longer days and brighter mornings, try spending a winter in Sweden - where sunlight is a thing that basically doesn't exist from October till February - it will change your mind in an instant and thus, answer all those questioning thoughts about my levels of excitement. Go figure. 

Nevertheless, back to my latest post for you all this Sunday afternoon. I know what many of you are thinking, two entries in the space of a week, who do I think I am, right? Well hey, at least you guys can say i'm dedicated! More to the point, there is a clear reason for my entry today - even if it is just thoughts in my own little head. Let's see how it goes and where this post takes us - fasten those seat belts my darlings! 

So this weekend saw me going to the opening/premiere (or whatever you want to call it) of a new gay club in Stockholm called Wonk..I know right, the name is seriously questionable and, if i'm honest a lot of things about the club itself were too - now by this i'm not referring to the place itself, I actually had a great night, i'm referring to what seemed like a bunch of sex and image-obsessed people who clearly had one thing, and one thing only on their minds..

Now lets not kid ourselves, for the majority of us students these days, sex seems to be the hot topic in at least one of our daily conversations, it's totally normal - all those raging hormones and other shenanigans make it impossible not to at least touch upon the subject once or twice, whether it's friends talking about exactly what 'went down' with that ridiculously hot guy last night, or be it people just wallowing about the lack of sex in their lives whilst eating an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's...awkward. Anyhow, yes, if you ask me it seems that today it really is all about sex - I mean come on, at least give some people a glimmer of hope - for those out there who have yet to actually pop their cherry, it must feel like their virginity is constantly slapping them in the face! (figuratively, of course), because it literally is all we talk about!

Anyway, back to Friday night, after a hectic 'getting ready' process and heading into town around 2.30am to Wonk for what was certainly an unplanned evening, two main things struck me upon entering this place. Firstly, everyone had clearly spent far too long perfecting their appearance. Despite my all-too drunken state (story of my life), I can remember feeling so intimidated by far too many of the inhabitants in this place - I mean i'm all for looking your best and making an effort, but there comes a point where it's exhausting. So yeah, like I was saying, it's safe to say I felt a tad shitty with regards to my appearance on Friday, however, upon reflection, it seems that the more I think about these people that apparently increased my insecurity levels, I start to see them more as nothing less than walking insecurity beacons, slaves to the perceived judgment of others, trapped within a self-perpetuating circle of crushing status anxiety. I'd still secretly like to be and look like them, of course, I mean who wouldn't? (anyone that says they wouldn't is lying to the universe and themselves), but at least these days I can temporarily erect a veneer of defensive, sneering superiority. I've progressed that far.

The second thing that struck me was frightening - almost every single person I came across in this club were photographing themselves. In fact, that's all they seemed to be doing - standing around in expensive clothes, snapping away with phones and cameras,  one pose after another, as though they needed to prove their own existence, right there, in the moment. Crucially, this seemed to be the reason they were there in the first place - there was actually very little dancing for many, just some good old pouting and flashbulbs! Now come on, surely this is a new development - clubs have always been full of spontaneity, fun, excitement and that 'in the moment' feeling of sheer lusciousness! I can't remember even a few months back clubbers documenting their every moment the way they seem to do now - at least not to this demanded extent (I blame it all on Instagram!) Now I can't exactly sit here and preach, I do it too. Like it or not, we all do. It's clearly not enough to appreciate that we're having fun in a club anymore - we've now got to document every moment of this 'fun' onto our Instagram, Facebook, Flickr, Tumblr, or whatever it may be accounts'. Nights out have turned into an unending exhibition in which a million insecure, try-too-hard individuals attempt to out-cool each other and look the best they possibly can.

Now, back to my point. All of this effort, all of this obsessive behaviour combined with constant preening and perfecting was for one thing, and one thing only. We all know what it is, the individuals themselves knew what it was, and, needless to say, they were out with the absolute desire to achieve it. Sex.

"Go for it Lyle, he's looking at you", my friends kept saying to me on Friday. "Don't you wanna get laid tonight? Are you not just like, really in the mood?" I kept hearing - if this is the only way you can find a partner these days then it's safe to say that i've lost all hope in the world we live in - jigging about like a desperate animal in the hope that someone will notice you across a dance floor and instantly want to jump into your pants..the romance is killing me..

Can't I just go out and have fun with my friends, get drunk and forget about my day to day worries and stresses? Apparently not...

Just to clarify one thing here by the way, i'm in no way saying i'm against one night stands and that they shouldn't happen - since coming to Stockholm, i've had my fair share of them myself and yeah, they've been fun. My point is that surely this isn't the only way forward nowadays? Surely there must come a point where you simply can't be bothered with them anymore, right? Well, honestly? I think i'm most definitely at that point.

I'm starting to ask myself the same question over and over when I see 'one nighters' take place - isn't it a lot of hard work for very little reward? I mean let's break this down, seven hours of hopping around in a hellish, uncomfortable outfit, sweating like a pig in a butchers shop in exchange for what? - sharing some interesting pelvic thrusts and grinds with someone, mixed in with a bit of good old tongue-tennis in the middle of a dance floor, which inevitably leads to so much more once into full swing. The result? This person will be the one who'll snore and dribble onto your pillow till around 11 o'clock the next morning, before waking up beside you with their hair in a mess, blinking like a dizzy cat, reeking of alcohol combined with that morning-after McDonald's breath. 

Really? I mean like, really?

...

As much as these things are hilarious to talk about the morning after and create those all-time legendary memories that go down in history between friends, the reality is, if you ask me, actually quite sad. Call me old-fashioned, but what happened to sex with a meaning, sex with a purpose, sex that consists of two people madly in love wanting to share such an experience together? Like I said, i'm in the fortunate position to be sexually experienced enough for my liking, not a virgin and admittedly, like the majority of us, had those 'one night' situations a good few times that like I say, were for sure fun at the time. I think it's for this reason I feel comfortable enough to one, raise such a subject and two, pick out the flaws that are rapidly developing within the so called world of sex.

It seems, however, that what people thrive on today, especially amongst the younger generations, is sex, or should I say, meaningless sex. We see more and more that it's relationships, meaning and any sort of emotion that are being pushed to one side and replaced by a sheer ruthless, competitive and almost animalistic side within the world of sex. Intercourse is becoming an achievement, an art, something that people feel they have 'mastered', dictated by numbers or lists of people in which they have 'been with' over a given time.

If you ask me, I don't fully know how I feel about it. Do any of you? 

Needless to say, I do know one thing, for me anyway, the time has come for more. Whether this 'more' will become the reality will tell over time. 

So, is it all you need is love? Or more a case of all you need is sex in today's market? I'll leave you with that question.  

Spread the love and stay safe guys! 

Speak soon. 

L xo

#thebestfriend tag.

*So wake me up when it's all over! When i'm wiser and i'm......* 

...

Oh, sorry, didn't see you guys there - me and my singing huh? Why you may ask? I guess you could say it's because i'm still on a complete high from the INCREDIBLE show Avicii put on here in Stockholm last night! Avicii my darling, what a pleasure, I salut you dear child, I really, really do. You know those type of concerts, gigs or performances that you go to and the entire day afterwards you just have the artist or show's songs on repeat? Yeah, well today ladies and gents, that is me! 

How are you all, by the way? I hope that the beginning of the, can you believe it, THIRD month of 2014 is treating you swell and that, as you know you should, are making every minute count in this thing we call our lives. This is that time again - what have you done today to make yourself happy? Nothing? Well now's your chance - go do it! I'll meet you back here. 

So when I was thinking about what I could write in today's post for you all it didn't actually prove that hard to reach a conclusion, in fact, it came to me very quickly. This morning combined with yesterday afternoon, after speaking to the bestie about her night out on Friday and my Saturday night spent at Avicii combined with our ever-hilarious chat that takes place over iMessage and FaceTime, it hit me...THE BEST FRIEND TAG! This is actually a post I've wanted to do for some time now but has always been pushed to the back of mind for 'oh yeah, another time', well my little cherubs, that time is now! Get excited! You excited? Good, me too! 

Oh, and on another note, during my besties' night out on Friday in the big city, some cheeky buggar stole her iPhone 5 - of what is literally the extension of her right hand! I'm not even joking. In the words of my girl, "babe, I literally feel naked!!!" 

If you ask me, this post has came at the perfect time, so here goes!

Maddie, Mads, Mad-eye. My darling. My babe. My Mary (hehehe!). I hope this cheers you up, makes you smile, brings a tear to your eye and, well, makes you feel less naked?..

1.) How and when did you meet?

Honestly? God knows! No but for real, we actually met a house party for finishing our first proper set of high school exams, which as i'm sure many of you will remember, at the time seemed like the most terrifying thing to ever grace the planet! Talk about over analysing?.. I can remember I was wearing these pink, almost rosé coloured trousers with a black shirt (don't ask what I was thinking, I was 15 okay? I wasn't!) and somehow I stumbled across a drunken blonde haired chick who i'm now joined to the hip with five years later! Five years babe? Can you believe it? Where has the time gone?

2.) What's your favourite memory together? 

This question is honestly just too hard - but I think if I could explain it, I would say that with us, it's more a case of utterly ridiculous moments that actually are not funny to anyone else in the 'outside world' but are simply too hilarious to put a price on for both of us! *insert the 'WELL DONE BABE' moment coming off the bus here* wink wink! This can be anything from something we've both said when we've been drunk, something that has happened and yeah, just generally ridiculous things that would only happen when you put me and this girl in the same room! Once again, i'm sure many of you can relate. It's utterly priceless.

3.) Describe your best friend in one word.

Mad-eye, I think you know what this word is gonna be....timeless! (oh, FYI, this is one of those moments that I don't expect any of you readers to understand, just putting that out there). 

4.) What's your best friends dream job?

This is an easy one, a teacher, or should I say more specifically, a primary school one at that! There is honestly no person that I see better suited to a job than you to this one Mads - your mature, professional, approachable, tentative and hardworking nature makes you a dream candidate to kickstart the educational career of the future minds of the world! As I remember you saying to me, "a primary school teacher can be one of the biggest impactors upon a child's life", and I have no doubt that you will come to be that impactor. You're gonna rock that degree of yours and then rock that job afterwards Mrs! Who's gonna be there cheering your name? Moi! You go girl! #gomaddieitsyourbirthday

5.) What is your best friends' favourite makeup brand?

This one is again, super easy. Mads, being the incredibly typical female woman that she is and loving her makeup, has a few favourite brands with regards to the makeup world. Last time I checked they where the following - MAC, Bobbi Brown and Chanel. 

6.) What is something that annoys you about your best friend? 

Mads and I always pride ourselves on how honest our relationship is with each other and actually, is something I can say i'm very proud of. I, and I know Mads does too, really value honesty, whether it be about an opinion, something that's happened or if something is on your mind - mads and I are always there to listen to each other. With this in mind then, it automatically makes this question very, if I can use the word, 'unawkward' to answer. Mads knows as well as I do that one thing that annoys me about her is her level of indecisiveness - albeit getting better with age! Mads is never good at fast decision making or taking the reins on a situation if we're together, it's me ninety nine per cent of the time. Nevertheless, I secretly love it! Wink wink. 

7.) If you could go anywhere in the world together, where would it be and why?

We always speak about travelling together after uni, and have a 'list in our heads' of cities and general destinations that we always say 'oh babe I would love to go there with you!!' to. So I guess you could say just an amazing road trip or backpacking adventure after graduation - hitting the likes of Australia, the USA, Thailand and some European capitals! Sounds legit right? I've definitely got a bad case of the travel bug. 

8.) Favourite inside joke? 

I never laugh with someone more than with Maddie - but what is the funniest thing about our friendship is like i've previously mentioned - It makes absolutely NO sense to anyone else apart from us. We have numerous voices (yes, voices) and personalities that we switch-up between with each other and just ways of doing things that to us, are simply comical. It's really hard to explain...but yeah. Mads babe, I need a boost! Hehehe.

9.) Who takes longer to get ready in the morning?

Honestly? Me! Oh the irony - this question would probably be Maddie's response to question six. Whenever we have to leave to go somewhere or if we're going out together etc i'm always running at the cows tail (don't know the expression? Look it up!), be it fixing my hair, using the bathroom, plucking the 'last little bit to finish on my eyebrows' or packing something into a bag, i'm always the last one out the door between us! I don't even know how it happens. Being gay is hard work okay? God guys, just let me be...

10.) Favourite season?

For my girl, undoubtedly winter! Mads is forever saying to me that she "has more clothes that are nice for winter than for summer", and how she feels she "can just generally dress nicer in the winter" than for summer - oh and not to mention how, like me, she loves wearing big scarves, boots and jackets. If i'm honest i'm probably the same. As much as I like to pretend to myself that summer is my favourite season (although wearing moccasins with no socks is brill), it secretly is winter - I love my scarves way too much to put them away! 

11.) Favourite song? 

Anything about a heart-wrenching love story, corny break-up or teenage angst, me and my sassy chick are all over it! Favourite songs would be anything Beyoncé, Taylor Swift or Katy Perry (seen her twice together) related! Too mainstream for y'all? Well there's the door! 

12.) Comedy, horror or chick-flick?

Chick-flick, ALWAYS. Mean Girls, enough said. 

13.) Favourite movie?

Pretty much the same as above but more specific - Mads and I's favourite film to watch together is without doubt The Holiday, especially at Christmas! It is our yearly tradition and ritual that has yet to be broken - If any of you haven't seen it then I highly recommend you watch it ASAP. It's fantastically heartwarming, gut-wrenchinlgy romantic and downright bloody festive! What's not to love? Oh, and it has a great cast by the way. Always a plus, right?

14.) Do you guys have anything matching? 

One of the funniest aspects of my relationship with Maddie is that people think it's just that, a relationship! We are FAR too matching in many ways. Whenever we walk down the street arm in arm, there is truly nothing more convincing than the possibilities of us being married. We've come to accept that it's never really going to change and, to be honest, we love it. Oh, we also have Matching Barbour jackets that never fail to add to that good old 'Mr and Mrs' impression we apparently radiate. 

15.) What is something weird that you eat? 

With us it's not as much 'weird' things that we eat, but more just obsessions with particular things we like to eat, varying depending on the time of year and occasion we find ourselves in. Needless to say that when the cards are on the table, Mads and I can work our way through numerous cups of tea, accompanied by a pack of Digestive Caramel biscuits to dip in it - how British of us! Jolly good show Governor! 

There you go folks, just a few questions and answers to give you an insight into the simply amazing friendship I have with this girl! I hope it brought you as much pleasure and enjoyment reading it as did to me writing. 

Mads, I love you. I miss you every day and honestly don't know where i'd be if you were not a part of my life. You bring so many brilliant things to our friendship and we've shared so many amazing moments together. The thought of you not being a part of my life is quite frankly, a terrifying thought. I think it's safe to say we're joined at the hip. 

What I love about us most is that despite the distance we've been faced with over the past year, nothing changes. When we're reunited (be it via FaceTime, Skype, phone-call or in real-life), absolutely NOTHING has changed. If you ask me, that's damn pretty special. 

I'll leave you with a few quotes that I know you'll just love, seeing as i'm the one to thank for your now equally obsessed quote addiction level! Just like me. Mwahaha. 

P.s - the quote with the two finger men about falling? Made me die! What an absolute LOL. 

Sending you much love, hugs and kisses as always you sexy mofo! 

Mwah! Love you long time guuuuuuurl.

Peace out until next time kiddy-winkles! 

L xo